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Today my youngest threw the mother of all tantrums. Tantrums of this nature are fairly rare in this house so I guess when he is going to have one, he’s going all out. I can laugh now but in the moment, it wasn't too funny. It started at the lunch table during a pre-school mothers day brunch, escalated into the hallway and exploded in the bathroom. He hit me; he kicked like a wild thing and would scream while flailing his limbs and throwing him-self on the floor. I could feel the eyes of mothers and teachers all around as we made our exit; I was embarrassed. I have never seen such a fit before; I was shocked. I could not calm him down. Through this fit, I'm wondering WHY this is happening. This is not how I am raising my kids to behave. A sense of doubt that maybe only a mother could understand creeps over me, am I not instilling discipline and obedience in him? How could I have prevented the episode, should I have done something different - like just give him the chocolate cake even though he didn't eat any of his lunch - do I ALWAYS have to stand my ground? I began to think of times I may have let him get away with disobedience, or maybe I have been too lenient with him because he is the baby of the family and as a result, he now he thinks he can get whatever he wants. Basically, I felt like the tantrum was my fault.
I usually dismiss 'bad behavior' for an unfortunate moment when it is another kid. I believe that I, as a parent, have the responsibility to train my children in the way they should they go – and that includes behavior. So when it is MY kid who is acting out, I take it seriously. It becomes personal to me because I feel that it is a reflection of the upbringing I provide for my kids, as if they are a product of my work. BUT I am so kindly reminded that they are their own person and no matter what instruction I provide, it is their choice to listen and obey. I will continue to be the parent throughout the good and bad moments. If I continue to train my child in the way he should go – he will not depart from it. And as I trust in that, I can be free of my own criticism. Now I just wish I had caught the whole thing on video so I could show you what a disaster it was!!! Memories!
I usually dismiss 'bad behavior' for an unfortunate moment when it is another kid. I believe that I, as a parent, have the responsibility to train my children in the way they should they go – and that includes behavior. So when it is MY kid who is acting out, I take it seriously. It becomes personal to me because I feel that it is a reflection of the upbringing I provide for my kids, as if they are a product of my work. BUT I am so kindly reminded that they are their own person and no matter what instruction I provide, it is their choice to listen and obey. I will continue to be the parent throughout the good and bad moments. If I continue to train my child in the way he should go – he will not depart from it. And as I trust in that, I can be free of my own criticism. Now I just wish I had caught the whole thing on video so I could show you what a disaster it was!!! Memories!
