Jackson & Ben enjoy the pre-school they attend. Jackson has been there since he was 2 and Ben has had an exciting first year. They have wonderful teachers who love them and do a great job creating a rich environment for learning. As much as we like the place, we are changing schools next year. Currently, we load up the car and drive 30 minutes for me to drop them off by 9:00am. There's no car pool line, so we walk in with our bags and art projects, sometimes a sight to see - this trip gets interesting in the rain. I can make it back home around 9:30 only to leave soon again since pick up is at noon. So, Monday through Thursday, I spend two hours a day, traveling this pre-school mesa. It doesn't give me much time to get anything done (keeping in mind that I also keep a friends daughter in my home two days a week.) The drive creates a need for frequent trips to the gas station and adds approximately 60 miles a day to the odometer; this doesn't include any driving I may do for day to day errands, to go running, etc. SO, I have decided that this great school we love is not so great for us anymore since there are others much, much closer to home and over the past several months, I have been on the hunt for a new school. I have researched curriculum, toured facilities, met teachers, and observed classes in order to find the one that would offer Jack & Ben the best school experience. Along with scouting out a new school, I have been under pressure to make a decision on whether we will send Jackson to a 5 year old class or send him on to Kindergarten. I have been STRESSED OUT!
I am feeling the heavy burden of making important decisions that will impact my children. Isn't this supposed to be easier for Christians? You know, we just ask God what to do and he's supposed to answer, right? I've been waiting. God wanted to show me something in this process. I wanted the answer to MY concern and He wants me to join Him in his concerns as He continues to shape me to be more like Him. As I read my Bible today, I came across a word that I needed to immediately apply. In Philippians 4:6-7, Paul tells us "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made know to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Oh, how I failed miserably this time. I had been anxious. Where was my thankfulness over the opportunity for my children to attend school? I fretted and at times had been in tears over the decisions I felt I was making on my own. Even after praying and talking with Wes about what we should do, I still carried this weight on my shoulders and could not seem to put it down. Since I trust that God's got it worked out already, why did I waste my time in worry? I have been tired and worn out emotionally, mentally, and physically and it didn't have to be this way. I can't do this life without His hand in it so why do I even try?
P.S. The decision of which school to choose is not an option for me anymore. He knew the outcome all along and has lead us to where He wants us to be. I was anxious- for nothing, not one ounce of my worry added anything to this. Tomorrow is open registration and I will be camping out at 2am to get my little guys a spot in a school that God has chosen for them.